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Sex and Menopause

Updated: Aug 10, 2020

Creating physical and emotional health during the change

The Wisdom of Menopause Christiane Northrup, M.D.

Sex and menopause: Myths & Reality

It's no secret that many women experience a decrease in their sex drive during perimenopause. What's not so obvious is the wisdom behind this decrease - which, by the way doesn't have to last forever. Perimenopause can put all of your relationships, including the one you have with yourself, under a microscope. This transition forces us to reevaluate every aspect of our relationships and update them. And this includes our sexual relationships

Libido at perimenopause can be likened to sap in a tree. In Autumn and Winter, that sap goes deep into the roots of the tree, where it lies waiting for the inevitable rise and new growth that begin in the spring. During the winter, there are no leaves on the tree and it may seem as though nothing much is happening, But deep inside, the tree is undergoing rest and renewal before another cycle of growth. In man women, libido turns inward to nourish the new growth that is underway on a soul level but cannot yet be seen on the out side.

Here's what that means: if a woman's sexual relationship needs to be updated, if she is not getting the tenderness ans care she desires, or if she has unfinished business with her mate, then any or all of the issues may well arise during this time.

This change in sex drive often has absolutely nothing to do with hormone levels and everything to do with a women's deepest unfilled desires, desires that are rising into her consciousness. The heart in our chest is the high heart, and the uterus and the genitals are the low heart. The high heart and the low heart are energetically connected. At midlife, the dictates of our high heart's desires become increasingly urgent, and our low heart and genital will no longer willingly participate in sex that is not connected to our high heart and our deepest yearnings.

If you need to support to identify and connect to your unsatisfied needs, coaching can help you to take the steps to have them met.

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